A relative of mine is a high school teacher. She is also a moonbat of the first water. I hasten to add that she is related to me only by marriage, we share no DNA.
I only endure her boorish behavior out of courtesy to my other relatives, most of whom care more that someone is their first cousin or married to their brother than if they belong to the Wild-Eyed Lunatic Fringe Party.
Compulsory education is often defended, when people point out how destructive, dangerous, and unconstitutional it is, with the claim that it is necessary so that its inmates may learn “social skills”. This is a euphemism for “being beaten up frequently”. No one actually believes that anyone can learn social skills by being locked up with a bunch of other children or teenagers who have not had time to learn them either. Kids do not learn social skills these days because they are almost never in the presence of adults who have them. The only adults they spend much time with are teachers, who do not.
Teaching high school destroys social skills. My relative has spent so much time standing in front of a captive audience full of prisoners who have no choice but to listen to her nattering that she has lost all ability to carry on a conversation. Her method is to simply open her mouth and spew out everything that pops into her head, continuing for hours on end without the slightest pause in which any other person might contribute a remark, paying no mind to whether anyone present has the slightest interest in anything she is saying, or indeed whether it is likely to offend them. She told my June Cleaver-like grandmother a joke about male-on-male prison rape, and when Grandmother didn’t get it, she explained it to her. She saw no reason not to launch into tirades about how evil and racist and stupid and horrible all Republicans are in front of relatives who she knew to be Republicans, and saw no irony in half an hour later delivering a diatribe about the death of civility.
It was while listening to one of her rambling monologues, full of opinions that sounded like those of exceptionally conceited 15-year-olds, that it dawned on me that spending all of her adult life surrounded by teenagers had prevented her from ever growing up herself. She kept rehashing the notions of her adolescence which seemed so edgy and daring in the 60’s when she first heard them, and the kids who were forced by law to listen to her were impressed because they were kids. Better yet, kids from a small town, who naturally thought anyone who wasn’t a church-goer was a courageous rebel. It is unsuitable for a woman in her sixties to be saying things because they impress people who are driving on a learner’s permit.
I have all kinds of ideas about how schools could be converted into educational institutions, mostly taken from history. I won’t even bother to enumerate them, because anyone who subscribes to my blog probably has virtually identical ones. But there are a few I reverse engineered from observation of this relative of mine, to prevent people like her from ever getting their hands on our children.
Often when I have to listen to this relative brag about how she indoctrinated helpless teenagers with her puerile ideology, I am sickened by the thought that the parents of her students are robbed of much of what they earn by the government, which then drags their children at gunpoint to daily brainwashing camp and gives that money to my relative and her accomplices to train those children to reject everything those parents value. My relative, of course, never has to endure the consequences of her actions. She has no children and at her age never will. She never has to see her children in prison, or with venereal disease, or divorced three times, or on antidepressants, or simply acting like asses because they took her ideology to heart. Nor did she have to go to school with children who were raised with her beliefs, as I did. She had the privilege of going to school with children from father-headed, church-going households, but is happy enough to condemn the rest of us to spending our childhoods locked up with juvenile delinquents who fear neither fathers nor Father.
So I propose that only people who have children of their own should be permitted to be teachers. They should have to endure, firsthand, the consequences of the ideas and ideals they promote. Jewish tradition requires that rabbis marry, and while I can also see the merits of a celibate clergy, I feel certain that this was one of the reasons.
My relative has never in her life had any job other than schoolteacher. This is common practice. When I was in elementary school, most of my teachers were young women, women who smoked pot and practiced free love in the 60’s and then were unleashed on classrooms as soon as they finished college.
Now, think about this. New college graduates are not permitted to be sergeants, or CEOs, or general managers, or supervisors. They may have natural leadership abilities, but experience is required before they are qualified to wield authority over others. Over adults with legal rights, with the freedom to quit or to file complaints or to sue. And yet we imagine that people who are not yet fit to give orders to drivers and pizza makers at Domino’s are responsible enough that completely helpless children should be handed to them on a platter? A teacher has infinitely more power over her victims than any workplace authority, in some cases they are even permitted to physically assault their inmates, they have almost no supervision – wardens can only dream of that sort of license – and yet we give them this virtually unlimited power without requiring that they display the slightest sign that they might be capable of handling it.
Further, since most teachers go straight from college to teaching, this means that they are allegedly preparing the young for something they know nothing whatever about: the real world. These teachers spend the first two decades and more of their lives earning approval from the authority figures in their lives by telling those figures how smart they are. I hate to remember how many college students I have heard cynically manipulating their professors. “Yeah, my professor’s really feminist, so I’m making sure to put a lot of that stuff in.” Teachers and professors will happily return flattery. A newly minted teacher has spent all of her life hearing Marxist narcissists telling her how smart she is because she parrots their bloviating with so much obsequiousness. Most teachers are only a few IQ points above mental retardation, and in any sane era the only legal professions they could have engaged in would have involved mops, but they have been convinced that they are shining geniuses. Most of us have a great deal of youthful conceit knocked out of us by our first few jobs, but not teachers. They waltz into their own classrooms expecting more of the same flattery they got by blarneying their own teachers, and canny children learn to game this very quickly.
So, in order to ensure that only people who have had time to mature become teachers, I propose that the profession be given a minimum age of forty. People who want to be teachers will have to first spend years performing real jobs. In addition, in those jobs they must demonstrate that they can responsibly wield power over other adults.
Of course, we also need to change everything else about schools. These two rules are only a drop in the bucket.
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